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Submitted on
January 9, 2011
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I fear friendship
as some fear death,
It makes me afraid
when I feel it so near.

You have it so easy....
You're caring and kind
You're nothing like me,
not a freak who has lost her mind.

You don't get upset
You don't lose your temper,
You don't give in to temptation
You don't live a lie.

I do not deserve this
your love and your kindness,
I can no longer allow myself
to need you.

You deserve better then what I can offer
Of that I am certain
But I control how you feel
The rest is up to you.

If you choose me
You choose a life of patience and healing
A slow life
A difficult path

But, if you do not choose a life with me
then you make things so much easier.
Easier for you anyways.

That way you'll be able to live your life
Without any interference from me.
You'll be better off
You'll be happy.

I'm a cutter and a whore
a bad influence and a child
A disaster that destroys
everything in its path.

I've made bad choices
that much is obvious
I'm trying my best to help you from making one.

I know I shouldn't say this
The words have lost their meaning
but before I go I must let you know
I love you..
How I feel..
Add a Comment:
 
:iconbastydesign:
bastydesign Oct 19, 2013  Student General Artist
wow, I'm impressed. it's really beautiful... <3
Reply
:iconelerow:
Elerow Oct 21, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you
Reply
:iconerhu13:
Erhu13 Jul 4, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I guess everyone feels like this at one point... But trust me pushing people out of your life, make everything worse
Reply
:iconelerow:
Elerow Jul 4, 2011  Student Writer
not if you push out the right people
Reply
:iconerhu13:
Erhu13 Jul 4, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
True
Reply
:icongaurdianangelsfall:
I am sorry you hurt so deeply, sometimes, I feel this way too, like you are the only one left and as if you are not good enough for anybody elese, you feel useless, like you don't deserve a friend in the world, or the world at all, you feel that you don't deserve to live...maybe it's just me, but I understand your pain, and how it keeps you from happiness. It hurts, to be alone, with feelings that no one wishes to understand, you get to a point whare nothing feels real anymore, and you have to write it in your arms to know if your alive, or dreaming, but the feeling brings, you to a place whare only you know...just please know you are not alone in the way you feel. I fight to everyday to stay alive, and face my fears, just hold on to hope, dear<3
"... no man is useless
while he has a friend."
- Robert Louis Stevenson

"We may all be broken, but it is within eachother we find stength to pick up the pieces"-Me
My heart is with you<3xxx
Reply
:iconelerow:
Elerow Jun 25, 2011  Student Writer
I know that I'm not alone, and you my darling, are not alone either.
Don't feel sorry for me, I'll pull through some day soon.
I thank you for reading what I have written.
My thoughts thrown out there for whomever wishes to read.
To understand the way I feel. The way many feel. Thank you, my new found friend.
Thank you.
Reply
:iconrainbowwwfiend:
I love this, You are amazing, not to mention beautiful, from what I can see in your pictures. I think about this concept you have written about, and applied it to my life. It fits nicely. I like you, your writing. You are truly a great writer. Your words pull me in like no other. I love the line through "I love you". I dont think people realize that that word is so worn out. I have a friend that fits nicely between the lines of this amazing poem, and I appreciate that someone else has feelings similar to mine about a person, not to mention ones own self. I admire you, Darling.
Reply
:iconelerow:
Elerow Jun 25, 2011  Student Writer
Thank you for that. It means a lot to me.
You and I haven't talked for a long long while
and I know that's my fault, I'm sorry.
I think you are lovely and still read up on your stuff.
You matter my dear.
Reply
:iconrainbowwwfiend:
(....: I missed you Deary.
Reply
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